Bloody Manipulator
by BlueFire Jin14
Summary: Some people say that they hated life and wished to die... I was one of those people. But some also say that they hated life, but couldn't bring themselves to end it. I, too, was one of them. Yet, how ironic - I, who lives a life of despair, who can't even end it and welcome death. I, who death claimed after a lot of suffering - is given another chance.
1. Death X Life X Twin

_**A/N**_

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything of Hunter X Hunter plot or its characters; I only own my Main OC and any supporting OCs that might show up as the story progresses.

**BlueFire Jin14: **This story will start to follow the main story of Hunter X Hunter 2011 at a certain point; thank you for reading.

* * *

**Prologue: Death X Life X Twin**

_**Blood, Pain, Sadness, Despair, Death….**_

That's what I felt as I was staring at the sky, wishing that this all to end but at the same time I don't. I'm dying that I knew, after all I was a victim of a car crash and I was in the front seat with my _husband _who was driving and our son who was in the back seat trying to read the book that I got for him for his birthday, when suddenly a car came out of nowhere and jammed into us so on pure instinct I tried to save my son , I tried to save the most important thing to me but I was too late…I couldn't save neither him nor myself.

Time went on slowly but at the same time so fast when I found myself outside of the car laying on my back and staring at the sky while my blood was painting the road. 'Someone must have pulled me out of the car…' I thought but then my thoughts wandered to my son, his frightened eyes looking at me while the car crashed into us and then his eyes were lifeless …I knew then that he was gone and that I was going to follow him soon after.

"I'm sorry…" Was all I could say before everything turned pitch- black.

* * *

Black…

All I saw was black.

All that I can see _is _black.

I don't know for how long I've been here, maybe days, weeks or even years but strangely I wasn't afraid of it at all, in fact I was feeling at peace. I was feeling safe in that pitch black darkness and strangely enough I felt warm as well, as if someone was hugging me tightly to keep me warm yet not tight enough to suffocate me.

These feelings stayed for a long while until one day I felt suffocated by the warm embrace as it crushed me. I wanted to scream but no sound came out, I wanted to move but my body felt numb, I wanted to open my eyes but I knew if I open them then I would find nothing but darkness.

This suffocation continued until suddenly the warms vanished, the tightness loosened and the darkness turned into whiteness, it was too bright that I could see it while closing my eyes. I felt relief that's for sure but at the same time I felt so scared because the warmth had vanished so suddenly that I felt defenseless like a little child without their parents.

I tried to open my eyes but all that I could see was a blur so I closed them again, I tried to listen but all I could hear was a really loud screaming. A woman's screaming. Why was she screaming? I didn't know at the time and I didn't care because all I wanted at the time was the warmth that was taken from me and not long after thinking that I was put in a warm embrace which was so nice like a mother's embrace, maybe it was the same? I didn't know so I left myself give in to the sleepiness.

When I returned to I found myself still in the warm embrace from before but something was different this time there was someone else being hugged by the warm embrace next to me but I didn't mind, I wasn't selfish enough to take all the warmth for myself so I decided to share it. This warmth, I just want to stay in it forever but I couldn't because nothing ever lasts an eternity I understood that the hard way.

I opened my eyes trying to see around me luckily my eyes got used to the brightness so I looked up expecting to find nothing but white space but to my shock and surprise I found a woman smiling at me but that wasn't what shocked me, what shocked me was the size of that woman, she was a giant so I screamed terrified but what terrified me more was my own voice that came out, no that wasn't my voice that came out, it was the voice of a baby so I stopped screaming and looked at my hands which looked so small like babies hands.

'No… That can't be…' As I tried to process the possibilities in my head I looked at the warm thing that I shared the warmth with to find a black pair of eyes staring at me which made me stare right back at them. That person is my sibling, my twin I knew as if it was an unspoken statement, an unspoken truth that I must accept.

After a while I got bored of the staring contest with my brother (I don't even know how I knew that, I just did.) and looked up again at the giant woman who I now know as my mother, my _**new **_mother. The woman was nothing less than beautiful with her long black hair, shining black pair of eyes and white skin that even so it's really pale it looked healthy.

"Illuka, Illumi, You're my precious cute little children~ Mama loves you~" My new mother said happily as she hugged us tighter.

'Illuka…? Is that my new name? It must be.' I then looked at my twin. 'And he must be Illumi…that name sounds really familiar yet I can't bring myself to remember… It's as if I'm forgetting something really important, something that I should remember.'

But as I was trying to recall the memories I started to drift into sleepiness again unknown to me that if I tried harder to recall I would have known then that I wasn't reborn in a normal family rather I was reborn in one of the most dangerous families there is to be born in.

A family made of killers.

A household made of assassins.

In a world where the weak dies and the strong survives.


	2. Peaceful life X Doesn't X Exist here

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything of Hunter X Hunter plot or its characters; I only own my Main OC and any supporting OCs that might show up as the story progresses.

**BlueFire Jin14:** I must say, I was really happy and I'm still really happy when I found that my story was followed, added to favorites and reviewed, Thank you all so much especially Lani0108 who offered to be my beta reader for this story! Thank you so much Lani-chan! Everyone I really recommend reading her stories, I especially like Otaku Twins! :) BTW I made a little change regarding Milluki's age.

**Beta reader:** Lani0108

* * *

**Chapter 1: Peaceful life X Doesn't X Exist here**

Illuka Zoldyck is my new name.

Pretty cool, if you ask me, and especially my new last name. Zoldyck. When I first heard it, I thought that it was pretty unique and strange for a last name, but I couldn't really judge. It sounded cool anyway, so I was okay with it. But really, I should have known, I mean, with my twin brother's name being Illumi and ending with Zoldyck, it didn't really take a genius to put two and two together, but for the love of god, I didn't suspect anything- or more like, I pretended to be the oblivious girl, and I was going to go with that act forever if I had to, but, unfortunately, everything had to end one way or another.

Looking back now, though, I feel kind of silly for acting that way. But can you really blame me? I mean, would you believe me if I told you that I died and was reborn in one of the fiction books that I adored so much when I was still alive and into a family full of professional killers no less?

I thought then that fate must really hate me, but as time went on, I found myself accepting the new change in my life. It might be because of my "Go with the flow" nature from my past life- or maybe because I found a place here for me with a mother that cares about me, a father that wishes to make me great one day and a little brother (by 15 minutes) who always acts like my shadow.

When I first met Silva Zoldyck, my father, was after one month of my birth in this world. To say that I was afraid would be an understatement- I was terrified. The way he stood, bearing down at me and Illumi, made the hair on the back of my neck stand up on ends, and even when my instincts told me to fight or just do anything really, I couldn't do either of them even if I wanted to, especially with this small body of mine.

He had suddenly put his hand in front of me, and I didn't know whether to bite it or let it be- but since the former wouldn't really do me any good, I let his hand be and stared at his eyes instead, anticipating his next move. But to my utter surprise, he smiled a really warm smile and patted my head, as if reassuring me that nothing bad was going to happen. Next to me, Illumi stared at father's hand, which had turned to him, making his own little one rise up. Father took it in his own with that same smile on his face.

During my first year in the Zoldyck estate, I had a lot of time to think about... things. Mainly on how me being here would affect the plot and if I can even stay alive until the original plot starts. I know that the Zoldyck's never had a daughter- and if they did have one, then she either died during or before the birth of Killua, since he would have mentioned her to Gon at least once if he did have a sister, right?

So if I was going to stay alive until Killua is born, then that would mean that I was going to change some things in the original plot, if not all, and since I'm about the same age as Illumi, I'll have about twenty-four years before the start of the plot. Which in turn means I have a lot of time to train and make plans, but it didn't help much that I knew close to nothing when it came to the time before Killua's birth…It's troublesome, but I have to make-do with what I know and go with the flow until Killua is born. Yeah, saying these things is pretty much easier than doing them, especially when you're in a baby's body…

Basically, all I could do was wiggle in my ridiculously huge crib and make noise if I needed something- and let me tell you, it was hell for the first six months I was there, so I made up my mind and started training myself to stand up and walk around the room when the maids or mama thought that we needed to get out and play for a while. It didn't take long until I was able to stand and walk - rather clumsily - around the room with Illumi on my heels, believe it or not, but the kid imitates whatever I do and actually does it better! While I was walking clumsily, then Illumi was walking way better than I was.

This continued for the whole year after my and Illumi's birth as I tried to learn something, and him imitating and perfecting it in no time. I admit, I was a bit jealous at first, but I just couldn't bring myself to stay that way for too long because…well…Illumi-chan is so cute when he wants me to praise him for doing something right! As you can guess by now, my relationship with Illumi is pretty good for twins and I'm planning to keep it like that, after all, it'll make things easier in the future.

Even though Illumi and I were twins though, we didn't look anything like each other, except for our pale skin, but other than that, everything else was different. I found that out when mama thought that it would be fun to dress us up in cute cat pajamas, mine was white while Illumi's was black. She then squealed and put us in front of a full body size mirror, to say I wasn't surprised would be a lie since I thought that I would look like a female version of Illumi, except with white hair (mama loves my hair and compliments it saying that I have a beautiful snow-like hair and such so I knew) but I found that I look like a female version of Killua instead of Illumi, with bright violet eyes and a feminine heart shaped face.

When we were three years old, things started to get a little bit interesting. It all started when Illumi and I got a little brother, which you all know is Milluki, when mama told me that I'd be getting a little brother, I thought that 'Okay, that means that Milluki is coming about eight to nine months from here then.'

But then I was shocked to hear from the butlers that mama gave birth the very next day, for goodness sake, the woman didn't even look pregnant in the past nine or so months! After a week of Milluki's birth, we went to meet him - and by we, I meant Illumi and I, because most of the time we spent our time together, if not all the time - and guess what? He was so cute! Completely different from his older self, with chubby baby cheeks and short black hair, just like Illumi's but the differences were his eyes. Illumi's were black eyes that were almost cat-like, while Milluki has a normal pair of black eyes.

Not long after Milluki's birth, father came to see us while Illumi and I played in our room, which was pretty normal- but that day was far from normal as he came in with mama, grandfather and some other really old guy who I was later told was my great-great grandfather. I suspected that something bad happened, because it wasn't everyday that they would all gather in one place...probably except the dining room.

Father stopped walking when he was right in front of us, and bent down to our level as we stared at him, he then put his hands on our heads like he normally did whenever he saw us. And to my utter dread and fear, he said those words that I wished I would never hear- the very words that would seal my fate.

"Illumi, Illuka, now that both of you are old enough, we decided that it was time to tell you two about the family's business and train you accordingly."

And right after saying that, mama started crying- not from sadness (I figured) of what we would become after this- but from happiness, saying that "You both are growing up so fast!" and hugging both of us.

That was when our so-called "training" began. It went on from torture training to making us tolerant against any kind of pain. Father was the one who supervised everything. The poison training, though, which was to make it easy for us to identify any kind of poison and make our body immune against them, mama was the one who supervised over it. That woman really loved putting poisons in any kind of food that she gave us, which reminded me of a certain character in one of my favorite manga's who specialized in poison cooking or something. Anyway, our training didn't end there for we had grandpa (he told me to call him that, I don't know why though) teaching us the arts of becoming an assassin and all of the techniques that he knew, while great-great grandfather with the help of father drilled in our heads what we need to become and what we should and shouldn't do, what we needed to fear and what should be done to insure total success, it was as if they were trying to brainwash us, turning us into emotionless killing machines, but since I had the mind of an adult I was immune to most of the brainwashing, at least I didn't turn out to be an emotionless machine, but sadly, Illumi wasn't as lucky. Even so, I tried my best to prevent it, but I failed.

After a year and a half of training, father deemed us ready to have our first kill - our first human kill.

I thought that I was ready; I thought that I was prepared after all the torture they made us go through. I killed animals without thinking twice, I see blood almost every day, but whatever I might have thought and did, nothing could have prepared me for my first kill…


	3. Death X And X A Smile

**A/N**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything of Hunter X Hunter plot or its characters; I only own my Main OC and any supporting OCs that might show up as the story progresses.

**BlueFire Jin14: **Thank you everyone for reviewing, following and favoring my story even so it has been a long time since I last updated. Before I begin I must thank my Beta reader Lani-chan for her magnificent work! She improved this chapter a lot and believe me when I say that if not for her this chapter would have really sucked…

So once more I'm sorry and I hope that you like this chapter too.

**Beta reader:** Lani0108

* * *

**Chapter 2: Death X And X A Smile**

My first kill was by far one of the worst experiences I have ever been through, both in my past and new life.

I was too naïve—thinking that_ killing for the first time_ wouldn't affect me in any way. I realize now that I was too full of myself, letting the thought of being an assassin get through my head—and the thought of being praised by my father made an unknown feeling swell inside me, making me think that nothing would frighten me anymore.

_Even if I were to kill at the age of four._

But who would have thought I would change so much after that fateful day?

* * *

"The two of you will be having your first official missions today."

The second those words left my father's mouth, I completely froze on the spot—the thought of dodging Illumi's attacks entirely disappearing from my mind. It was only later when my brother's fist was only an inch away from my face did I remember that we were having our usual spar. I was thankful that he stopped his fist to look at father before it actually hit me in the face, or I would have had a bad case of nosebleed from the impact.

Father's words were still processing in my mind. I was totally out of it while thinking—simply staring at father. I'm not sure what kind of emotion was shown on my face. Maybe there was nothing at all.

I knew what he said, those very words that I've been dreading to hear all these years, but I was actually wishing that it was a lie—a mere joke, perhaps. But this was _Silva Zoldyck_ we were talking about, this guy doesn't joke around at all. And after his next words, I actually wanted to beg whatever powerful being was up there to give this man a sense of humour in him.

"Illumi, Illuka, both of you will be having different assignments, which means both of you will be separated for the time being."

In that moment, I wanted to scream in complete horror at his words.

"Illumi, you will be accompanied by your grandfather." He pauses to look at Illumi, and nods in approval when he sees my black-haired brother listening. Then he turns to look at me. I look back at him, I still don't know what expression I'm wearing. "While _I_, will accompany you, Illuka."

I seemed to have finally regained my senses after hearing that, and everything finally registers in my mind.

I'm going to go on my first mission. _Without Illumi with me._

I felt beyond terrified as I turned to look at my brother, who was staring at father with curiosity shining in his cat-like eyes.

The thought of being separated from Illumi for more than thirty minutes was like thinking of Hisoka turning into a pacifist someday. Which is, by the way, utterly disgusting and ridiculous. And don't even get me _started_ on how impossible that is from happening. Kind of like separating me and Illumi.

Okay, I know I'm exaggerating a bit here, but I've really gotten attached to my cat-eyed little brother – and twin – in this past four and half years or so.

But father didn't take any of it when I started to whine about how unfair it was to separate us, and Illumi didn't even protest against it at all! His eyes only following after us as father dragged me to who-knows-where.

The little traitor.

When we had arrived to our destination—which was father's room—he let go of my arm (which he used to drag me here against my will, by the way) and told me to sit down, which I did, before he himself sat down on his oversized couch, motioning for me to come closer when he noticed that I was sitting on the ground. I did as he said without hesitation and sat myself right next to him, while still facing him. I kept quiet for a while, still a bit mad at him for separating me from Illumi, but it proved too hard for me to actually keep my mouth shut when I was practically sweating from nervousness.

"… So, what's this really _important_ first mission that you want me to do _without_ Illumi-chan?" I decided to ask, making sure that my voice sounded polite, yet with a hint of sarcasm, to hide how nervous I was to whatever he was going to tell me and make me do.

Father only smiled at me, placing his large hand on my head, and ruffling my hair in the process—like he usually did whenever I was alone with him. I liked to think that this was his special gesture just for me, and I liked it, even though it messes up my hair more than it already is.

"Don't worry." Was what he said, and strangely, that made me feel a little better. "I'm sure this job won't take you too long, considering your skills. You may return to your brother right after finishing your mission. But before anything else, I need to tell you about the target you are assigned to kill."

His last words made a chill run down my spine. _The target you are assigned to __**kill**_. Those very words were still running through my mind even as I leaned closer to look at the picture father was holding out to me—there, I could see a man with dark slicked-back hair, he wasn't looking at the camera when the picture was taken, obviously, but even in that angle, I could see that he was quite the handsome man. His face shape was angular and his eyes had a dark shade that I can't quite name; he was smiling charmingly at whatever he was looking at, and from his clothes, I could clearly see that he had quite the fortune. And did I forget to mention the insane amount of bodyguards surrounding him? Well, now I did.

"Cozart Dicm, he's your target." I continued studying the picture of the man—_Cozart Dicm_—memorizing his face to not mistake him for anyone else, while still listening to father describe him. "He is a man very well-known in the underworld for his strange passion of buying human organs in the black-market. We were hired to assassinate only him, so any other casualties is not needed."

_Okay, good._ I nodded at father while still staring at the photo, a small feeling of relief rising inside of me. _I can avoid killing other people._

Despite this thought, though, I couldn't help but frown slightly at the nagging feeling at the back of my mind, which increased as I continued staring at the picture. _I know he looks handsome and all, but he has this really sinister and nostalgic feeling about him… it kind of reminds me of… __**him**__._

After a bit more of talking with father, I went back to my room to prepare myself. I stood in front of the mirror in the said room, staring at a reflection of a girl with white hair and violet eyes—it was only then that I realized that I was shaking.

And it was only then that I realized that I _wasn't_ ready for this.

But I was still going to do it anyway.

* * *

Annoyance. Disappointment. Irritation. I don't know how many words could describe how I was feeling right now as I continued knocking out one guard after another.

_Annoyance_ at how my father left me with the weaklings while he took care of the Nen-users. _Disappointment_ at how easy it was to knock-out these bodyguards. And most of all, _irritation_ at myself for feeling all of these things. I mean, I _shouldn't_ be feeling _annoyed and disappointed_, I should be _grateful _that I don't have to face powerful people and that father cares enough for me that he doesn't want me to get myself killed. But really, this is all just making me feel really useless. And I don't like being useless. Even if this mission _is_ to assassinate someone.

It wasn't long before I found myself standing in front of a really expensive-looking door, which I'm guessing is my target's office, or bedroom, maybe. With that being said, I tried to conceal my presence as much as I could, since I couldn't use _Nen_ yet. I slowly reached out to the door and twisted it open, anticipating to see my target—_Cozart Dicm_—on the other side.

But as the door opened to reveal what was inside, I was beyond horrified.

The first thing I saw was _blood_—there was blood everywhere. It coated the floor with its dark colour, the walls, and even the ceiling—_everything_ was painted with the colour of blood; the crimson, dark red that I was starting to hate.

The room was filled with its disgusting metallic smell—it was suffocating and I instantly felt nauseous, ready to vomit the food that I ate earlier in any minute, but thankfully, I held it in. I tried calming myself down, telling myself to focus on finding my target instead of thinking about the blood, and carefully started walking across the room, trying to not think of squelching sounds I could hear as I stepped on _something _on the ground and trying to find my target at the same time.

It was then that I noticed more details of the room I was currently in—the room was unnecessarily big; with a high ceiling and space that could fit a couple of king-size beds, a floor-to-ceiling window which illuminated the room with a dim light opposite of me, and on some parts of the walls that had no blood on it, I could see that the original colour was actually a light shade of grey, which was probably why the crimson red was more noticeable.

After a few more seconds of studying the room, I spotted a door in the corner, slightly covered by the curtains of the window beside it.

The walk towards the door was horrifying—I saw things that made me want to throw up my dinner, and things that strangely resembled human organs… maybe they _were_ organs. I swallowed back the rising bile in my throat and continued walking past the horrific sight.

But apparently, that wasn't the worst part of tonight.

As I slowly got nearer to the room, I could hear muffled sobs and screams and…laughing? I started to walk faster.

I didn't know what I was expecting, that time—but seeing my target, Cozart Dicm, _laughing_ as he pulled a child—looking no older than I did—and then _slitting her throat_ and laughing even more as her head was cut off from the strength he put in the butcher's knife, was not one of them.

_Insane_. That was the word I would use to describe him.

I was sure I looked horrified, because I sure as hell _felt_ like it. The look on that poor girl's face before she died—no, before she was _murdered_ probably mirrored mine right now.

I was beyond scared. I was _terrified_ of this man and what he did… but I was also beyond angry.

I was _furious._

It was then and there that I decided I would kill this man without mercy—like _he_ had killed that little girl with no sympathy. My eyes burned with rage, and I could feel my hands tighten around the daggers I held.

That was all that registered in my mind before everything turned black.

* * *

Blood.

There was blood everywhere.

Those were the first thoughts that came to mind as I found myself standing in a pool of blood and mangled body parts. I noticed someone was standing not too far in front of me, inspecting something which I now realize is a barely recognizable body.

It was only a few seconds later that I realized that that "someone" was my father.

I looked down at myself, noticing the crimson red colour that was covering me—I wasn't sure whether the blood was mine or not, or _where_ it came from. I couldn't comprehend anything—my mind was blank. I felt completely numb.

It was only later that I realized that I said anything at all.

Father looked at me thoughtfully, and when my words finally sunk in, I sucked in a breath from the shock I was feeling at what I did.

_"I killed him."_

I… I actually did it. I let the anger that I felt control me and… killed someone. I killed a man—a human-being, a once-living and breathing person—and I killed him like I was ordered to do so.

I must have been spacing out, because when father started talking, his voice came out unnecessarily loud.

"Yes, you did kill him. You finished the mission as ordered, but…" Father's stern eyes found mine. "… You overdid it."

As father said this, he moved out of the way to show me a disgusting unrecognizable body without a head or any limbs—and if it wasn't for the violet rose that was on his chest pocket, I wouldn't have recognized this person at all. I was frozen on my spot as I stared in horror and disdain at the blood-stained rose—_the same violet rose my target had._

My eyes were wide as I stared—my head ached and my chest tightened, I remember now. Just thinking about it made it hard to breathe.

I forced myself to swallow.

That… that _thing_ was my target. I was the one that did that to him, and just the thought of me killing that man… despite him being a disgusting, sickening person… why did I let myself do it? Why did I let myself _kill_ him?

I was disgusted and horrified at myself when a small, satisfied voice in my head told me that **_he deserved it._**

_No._ I shook away the disturbing thought from my head, but the cruel satisfaction I felt from killing my target wouldn't go away no matter how much I wanted it to. And it didn't help that the same small voice inside my head was laughing and telling me that **_he deserved it_** over and over again. I tried to rub my temples to possibly clear my head, but now that I actually tried moving my hand, it felt… heavy, for some reason. I had a sinking feeling of frightened expectation in the pit of my stomach as I turned to look down at my hand—my hand was balled into a fist, and with a growing sense of horror, I realized that what I previously thought were my daggers was actually… my target's head.

I wanted to scream and throw the head somewhere I could never ever see it again. I wanted to cry and go home where I know Illumi was waiting for me—I _needed_ Illumi right now. I _needed_ him to wake me up and tell me this was all just a horrible dream, to tell me this was all just a nightmare and nothing more. I wanted mother to hug me and tell me everything was okay. I wanted father to turn around and say that all of this was just some sick joke… But _no_. None of that was going to happen. _This_ was my reality. _All_ of this was my reality. The blood I'm covered in. The dead body in front of me. The severed head near my feet.

… And the fact that I'm a cold-blooded murderer.

I could hear the small voice inside my head laughing—and a small disgusted smile curves my lips.

_A small voice inside my head?_ Oh, who am I kidding?

That's just me—**_enjoying everything that had happened._**


End file.
